The Trust Journal

Why We Created The Trust Journal

As a parent, I knew how strong-willed my daughter, Ocean, was. Out in the world, she was this happy, smiley little blonde. But when she came home, I could tell she was carrying little things she didn't know how to say out loud. She was proud. She wanted to handle things on her own. 

I understood that because I was the same way.

Growing up, my mom reacted to everything. Every little thing felt like a big thing because she wanted to fix it. So instead of talking, I learned to hold everything in. I carried things that no child should ever have to carry. By the age of nine, I had already been on Oprah twice. 

I knew there had to be a better way. 

I never wanted my daughter to feel like she had to carry life's hard moments alone. More than anything, I wanted to build trust while the problems were still small, so when life eventually got bigger, the trust was already there. 

That's why the Trust Journal was created. 

It actually sat on her bookshelf for a long time before she ever wrote in it. 

I'll never forget seeing that she had put the Trust Journal on the foot of her bed for the first time. My first thought was, Dear God... what did I sign up for? It was a zinger. Every instinct in me wanted to react, ask questions, or fix it. 

But I didn't.
Instead, I watched the weight lift off her shoulders. 

Somehow, the journal became her little "get out of jail free card." It definitely wasn't the original intention, but these were the problems of a ten-year-old, and she knew she had a safe place to tell me the truth without fear of my reaction. 

So I never reacted. 

Over time, something amazing happened. 

Within about a year, she stopped writing in the journal because she no longer needed it. We had built enough trust that we could simply talk. 

That was always the goal. 

It wasn't always easy. There were moments when I wanted to jump in and fix everything. But I had signed up for this. I never wanted her to look somewhere else when what she really needed was her mom. 

Fourteen years later, Ocean has graduated from college. I'm sure there are still things I don't know, but for the most part, we still live by the unspoken rules of the Trust Journal. These days, I sometimes have to beg her to stop talking... LOL. 

Thankfully, the trust is still there. 

I'm so grateful she was brave enough to write in that journal for the very first time. 

Protecting the spirit of a child is everything. 

Our hope is that when we help children through the little things, they'll never have to carry the big things alone. 

What Happens in this Journal, Stays in this Journal!